Manifesting my desire...

I've been busy manifesting my desire. Of being a writer. Which I am already. So correction. Of being a published writer. Let me hit the pedal when the Juipter is still conjuncting Neptune. And while Mars aspects both Jupiter and Neptune. It's time the desire saw light. Stay with me. Wish me luck.

Terracota/Pottery

After Writing classes, my interests are now veering towards Terracota and Pottery. In particular, Terracota jewelery design and making. But sadly, I have not been able to find anyone in Bangalore who offers these classes. I haven't given up though - am still searching.

Meanwhile, here's an artisan at work with his pottery - pics I took at a recent visit to Janapada Loka in the outskirts of Bangalore on the way to Mysore. Supposedly, this old man gets Rs.12 per pottery piece he carves and paints and he will be able to make five such pieces every day- effectively getting an income of Rs.60 per day. Looking at the item he was working on, I figured it could easily sell for Rs.150 at an exhibition in Bangalore. But the amount that he gets in the supply chain is a mere pittance. Sad state, indeed.

Readying for take off!

I have been thinking about doing my own thing for quiet sometime now. It started around one and half years into my first job after MBA. I quit with just one offer in hand. I joined the next company, worked for a day, and literally ran out of the place in the evening with no intention of returning back ever. Maybe I was hasty but I sure wanted to heed my intuition when it said get out right now. I called up the guy who hired me the next day morning and gave him a cock and bull story about shifting my base to Paris because my husband got transferred! Ha! Ha! Ha! I don’t think he really believed me. No one would have! But he let me go easily enough. Thank god! And then I realized because of my own impulsive compulsive need to quit my first employer fast and then my “intuition” with the second one, I was now stranded with no job or offer in sight. Jeez, did regret my decisions or what? I sat at home the next three months, unemployed, newly married in a new house, with a busy husband, and slowly went out of my mind. Thankfully, I got a job before I went completely mad!

The next one and half years went blissfully. Well almost. And then, boom! I started getting itchy again. Woa! What is this with me? The same story repeated! Yes, believe me you. The same fast paced resignation, cajoling my manager to relieve me fast…. and the entire works. But unlike last time, I stuck to the next company I joined and did not pay heed to any voices. You see, now I am a little more experienced at sorting out the voices of my head. So here I am, few months into a new job and already feeling the itch  For heaven’s sake, none of these jobs seem to fit me properly! Either the managers lie about the job description or I get disillusioned with my own role! So I got thinking………..

What is the remedy for my itch? Quit working, stay at home, take up gardening, some community work if possible, and have a blast! Yes? No! Unfortunately, I don’t think that will work. In fact, even if it works, am not sure I will be happy with it. I got to work. But at my own terms, in my own time, as my own manager. Yeppe! That will sure make me happy. So here goes my attempt at being self-employed. I am wary to use the “E” word just yet. Maybe I will muster up enough courage and strengthen my idea enough by next year but not right now. I am content to have a goal to become self-employed first before going all the way to being an “E”.

So here I have the plane (idea), the website (runway), and the fuel (energy and time) ………….. now I just got to figure out how to get my plane to take off! Wish me safe travels!

Oh btw if you are interested, u can maybe take a look at my idea here? And let me know what you think of course.

Six months down the lane....

I am going to quit regular work.
Setup an office for myself at home complete with broadband, hi-fi laptop, refreshments, and such.
Start my own freelance sales support services business to be named "blah blah services" (am kidding! about the name!)
Browse the Internet all day long without any restrictions.
Participate more actively in social events (including photowalks, unconferences, barcamps, etc, etc.)
Live life my way which means sleep when I want, go out when I want, play with kid when I want. Like right in the middle of a Monday.

Period.

And the reason am articulating it here is obvious - I want to commit it to myself. I want to crystallize the thoughts and give them the energy that only belongs to the written word.

"Oh, ye Intention of mine
Written you are now
No escapes, no blaming lunacy
Like it or not, you are stuck
So you better materialize"

Let's make some babies... of the botanical kind :)

My fascination with plants and other related beings started some 10 years back. I do not remember my first pot or plant. If I really try hard, I think I can hazily see a "insisted by mom" kanakambaram sapling standing in a lonely pot at the corner of the balcony in the dim corners of my brain! And if you are wondering what the heck is "kanakambaram", that's the Tamil name for Crossandra undulaefolia. Gee, I guess that's even more of a "what the whatever" ;) Before you pick up the nearest item and aim it at the monitor hoping it will reach me, the common name of the plant/flower is Firecracker. Can you believe that???? Such an exotic name for our kanakambaram? I wouldn't have thought of it in my dreams! This is the same orange flower that North Indians disdainfully say South Indians load their heads with. The same flower that moms and mamis pin on their young daughters' hair so thoughtlessly, never mind that the girls are wearing bright blue dresses! Gosh, those days! Today, I will run a mile if anybody even dares approach me offering "Firecrackers" for my hair. Oh my god, no ways!!!!!!!

I do have the nasty (or maybe delightful if you insist) habit of digressing, don't I? Hmm, where was I? Oh, ya..... I was recollecting my gardening history. So like I was saying, it began some 10 years back. Obviously started with a few cheap plants that I could grow myself without buying seeds from the nursery. Like delicious tomatoes. Over and over again. Tomatoes and more tomatoes. My balcony was full of them. I used to get up each morning and run straight to my crops. Was that a bud? Or was that a new leaf? Oh, will you look at those cutie-pies? Those beautiful, beautiful little yellow flowers! Should I help them breed? Perhaps take some pollen from one flower to another? (Those were the times when we were just starting with Botany lessons). And when my humble crop load gave a few tomatoes, I couldn't wait for them to grow bigger. I will choose one fine auspicious day (all in my small mind no thanks for that almanac), pluck them out gently and run into the kitchen offering it as a grand prize to my mom. Home-grown fresh tomatoes straight from the plant. No ma'm, you don’t have to worry about those pesticides. No need to wash them either. Cut them and put them directly into the sambar. Is it done? Ha! Give me a spoonful, will you? I need to taste my produce. Heavenly. Delicious. Oh, my dear tomato plant..... Thank you, thank you so much. Off I run back to my balcony, intent on sowing a few more tomato seeds! Little did I realize that my produce was one tomato in the lot of six that my mom used for that sambar.

Another favorite was "Table rose". I'm sure you will know this one. No, this is not the "rose" rose. This is table rose! Miniature flowers that come in light pink, dark pink, in-between pink, white, white with pink, etc, etc. The reason this is a favorite is of course because it grows oh easily. Even in a kotankuchi. For those who are Tamil-ignoramus, kotankuchi is the left-over shell after you scrap out every bit of coconut from it. A coconut shell, yes. For a kid, even kotankuchi can become a garden. Wow! That came out nicely! A new phrase I've coined all by myself. Go, figure! Better yet, go start using it giving me due credits.

And then there are various other plants which were little harder to grow with limited resources. But try to grow them I did. I remember the Ladies Finger fondly. The deep Yellow to Purple flower and subsequent tiny winy Ladies Finger :) Then there were the unsuccessful attempts to grow Coriander, Jasmine, and Roses.... ha, how can I forget those kakadas?

There came a stage when I used to beg my pop to give me some money to spend on pots, plants and seeds. The indulgent man that he was for his younger daughter, he used to give me the requested amount after a customary round of no-no and nah-nah. With a handful of money (read coins!), I used to skip to the nursery nearby and spend hours together enquiring about different plants to the old patti there. Sometimes, I even convinced the uninterested sister and friends to tag along. Wonder what they were thinking about me then? Probably a budding botanist (pardon the pun!)

Fast forward to a few more years later. My affair with our stationary friends continued uninterrupted across cities and across other people's garden. But then slowly petered out. When I shifted to a PG, I tried. I tried the kotankuchi method. But due to lack of attention, the table rose died. Poor thing. I do believe firmly that plants flourish only when you give them enough attention. And when I say attention, I do not mean water, air and fertilizers. I mean love. I mean taking time out to sit/stand beside them, caress them lovingly, and enquire about their health. About how their day went. About..... how a plant's life is. I used to do it. Grin, grin. And I used to love doing that.

The present day. Though there is a small garden in front of my house, I don't touch it. The big lady of the house along with her husband dominates it. There are only the usual decoration plants. One or two flowering kinds. Sadly, none of them are my kind (Like tomatoes!). But recently, I picked up some nerve, and decided to change the way things are. What better time than when the MIL goes on a long tour. I laid siege to the empty pot cramped between two huge crotons. Got overenthusiastic and sowed both chilies and guess what else? Tomatoes! :) Nobody noticed. Even after MIL returned back. Whenever I had time, I tiptoed to the garden and peered around the crotons to check whether my saplings have come out. They took some time but finally they did. Both of them. After a few days, the chilies became too much for my poor tomatoes. All the tomatoes died :( Only chilies left!

The envisioned future. A big big garden of my own. I shall be the queen and I shall reign supreme. The mister and mistress of the land. Everyone shall ask me permission before setting foot inside the holy land. Yes, including the dumb dog. Oh ye dog's master, you better ensure your dog poops outside before he ventures inside my land. Lest he soil my soil. In the worst case that that happens, I will make him eat his own stuff which I am sure he wouldn't mind anyway!

A garden. Oh, yes please, a garden of my own. A neat vegetable plot on one side, a few flowers spread here and there. One or two medium-sized trees. Some underplanting. And if the surroundings permit, a Mango tree. And I shall sit and pray each day for the birds and bees to come. And when they do come, I will hope with all my heart for them to return and make my garden their home. My little one shall play in their midst.

A dream. Almost a fairy tale. Perhaps I will secretly wish for the fairy circle too.