Ever since I heard the Ant and Grasshopper story when I was young, I have harboured a silent resentment towards ants, red ones in particular. The black ants are okay - I can tolerate them, in fact I enjoy watching them. But the red ones? They are the worst what with the added sting in their bites. Have you ever noticed the difference in behavior between the black and red ants? The red ants seem to be more studious, more committed and more boring while the black ones are interesting- they never look to be going in a single pile, all of them take initiatives and go off in different directions, and they even climb over humans to look for food. Their audacity, their quick movements and their adventurous spirit, and their "never hurt anyone" attitude endears them to me. But that's besides the point. Which is ants in general and the way they were compared to grasshoppers in the aforementioned story.
They (the elders!) shook their fingers in the kids' faces warning them - Do you want to be a grasshopper which died of starvation once winter came or do you want to be the ant which was wise enough to save for the rainy day? If my vocabulary and worldly knowledge was what it is today, I would have probably shown them the middle finger.
I could never understand why anyone would want to work and work and work and save and save and save for a winter that is a long time away?! Why not enjoy life now and then? We will worry about the winter when we come to it. So what if we die of starvation? At least we danced under the sun and sang to the wind.
So continuing from my previous post, I discovered few years ago that I can not be an ant however much I try. I would rather enjoy the now and then than work like crazy for a winter far away. I would rather be alone than have a queen ant presiding over me. I would rather break the line than follow some invisible scent and trodden path! I would rather be a grasshopper than an ant. So there!
PS: BTW, did you know that the average lifespan of a grasshopper is just 4-5 months in the summer? They can't live to see winter even if they want. So whoever wrote or came up with that story needs a lesson in biology!!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Embrace Chaos; Forget "Work/Life Balance"
Don’t let the title throw you off. Notice the quotes enclosing the Work/Life Balance? Yes, its time we all forget about the traditional “Work/Life Balance” concepts that have been ingrained into our nervous systems. With Technology gaining more and more prominence in the way we lead our lives, it has become near impossible to keep personal and professional lives apart. At least that’s what this new Forrester article titled “Embracing Chaos Is Smarter Than Seeking An Elusive Work/Life Balance” says.
In essence, the article neatly talks about how “Work/Life balance” previously meant a clear time divide – the so called 9 – 5 work culture and after that personal time. But today this is not possible especially for information or knowledge workers. With work roles getting more demanding, hazier, and Technology populism (Google that!) playing havoc, employees can no more be strict about leaving office dot 5 or 6. They are ready to stretch when required and don’t hesitate to take off early on a lean day. They check office email while having dinner and make vacation arrangements while at office. The line between personal and professional work becomes less and less defined while at the same time employees ensure neither is compromised or affected by the other. Agreed. In fact, I loved reading that article. BUT sounds like utopia for me. That is from where I stand.
In essence, the article neatly talks about how “Work/Life balance” previously meant a clear time divide – the so called 9 – 5 work culture and after that personal time. But today this is not possible especially for information or knowledge workers. With work roles getting more demanding, hazier, and Technology populism (Google that!) playing havoc, employees can no more be strict about leaving office dot 5 or 6. They are ready to stretch when required and don’t hesitate to take off early on a lean day. They check office email while having dinner and make vacation arrangements while at office. The line between personal and professional work becomes less and less defined while at the same time employees ensure neither is compromised or affected by the other. Agreed. In fact, I loved reading that article. BUT sounds like utopia for me. That is from where I stand.
- Give me an office where entry and exit are not tracked by swipe cards
- Give me an office where every other site is not restricted and every move the employee makes on his or her computer is not monitored
- Give me an office where the manager is more concerned about quality of work and timely delivery and less about your presence in office
- Give me a cubicle where I’m allowed to keep my desk the way I want without maintaining a clean desk policy (not even papers allowed, mind you) and where I can listen to music if I feel like it (of course, with a head phone – But some managers have problems with that as well, let me tell you. Strange world, this one!)
- Give me an office where I can install instant messengers to chat with colleagues across the World without incurring additional costs for the company– and if that lets my friends see me while am online and ping me, let not the company go “uh uh”
- Give me an office culture where I can talk to my colleague who sits across from me with out the manager going “tch, tch”
- Give me an office where work output matters and not appearances
I will gladly sacrifice my 9 – 5 attitude. Else, tough luck dude. My 6’o clock cab is waiting for me and I don’t miss it for any reason.
But as I said, this is a strange world. Most of what I said above does not apply to counter parts who sit in the West (for who or on whom this article was written I guess). They are free to clutter their desk anyway which way they want and they are free to visit adult sites if they wish. And let’s not forget – they can talk about going to a Dentist’s appointment with their sons and daughters in an international conference call with ten participants from ten different time zones. And all this within the same company I say - so you can’t get away with saying different company, different policies. So this is only for the offshore – you see, we got to maintain appearances along with other important things.
I did experience utopia just once. Or maybe twice. At my first and second job. Small company, smaller team, bosses who trusted you to get the work done without the need to look over your shoulders. Less irritated managers. Compared to my experiences since then, I can only say I learnt and imbibed the concept of “Work/Life Balance” much later. Much much later.
Ha! memory sure does paint the past rose, doesn’t it?
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Terracota/Pottery
After Writing classes, my interests are now veering towards Terracota and Pottery. In particular, Terracota jewelery design and making. But sadly, I have not been able to find anyone in Bangalore who offers these classes. I haven't given up though - am still searching.
Meanwhile, here's an artisan at work with his pottery - pics I took at a recent visit to Janapada Loka in the outskirts of Bangalore on the way to Mysore. Supposedly, this old man gets Rs.12 per pottery piece he carves and paints and he will be able to make five such pieces every day- effectively getting an income of Rs.60 per day. Looking at the item he was working on, I figured it could easily sell for Rs.150 at an exhibition in Bangalore. But the amount that he gets in the supply chain is a mere pittance. Sad state, indeed.
Meanwhile, here's an artisan at work with his pottery - pics I took at a recent visit to Janapada Loka in the outskirts of Bangalore on the way to Mysore. Supposedly, this old man gets Rs.12 per pottery piece he carves and paints and he will be able to make five such pieces every day- effectively getting an income of Rs.60 per day. Looking at the item he was working on, I figured it could easily sell for Rs.150 at an exhibition in Bangalore. But the amount that he gets in the supply chain is a mere pittance. Sad state, indeed.
Hopeless
Mornings are always a rush. Shweta hurried out of the house after a quick kiss on her baby’s cheeks and a quicker goodbye to her husband. Life is always difficult for a working mom and Fridays especially so. Clutching the brown hand bag with her right hand, and desperately trying to hold the flying dupatta with the other, she jogged down the street to its corner, the designated spot for pick and drop. Her mind lingered on the strong cup of coffee her husband prepared for her every day and she wished she could have had more time to enjoy it. Spotting the cab hurling down at full speed a few hundred meters away, she broke into a run and muttered a silent thanks to the man who woke her up every day on time. Her alarm clock, her husband.
After the regular hellos and smiles at the few others already in the cab, Shweta moved to her usual seat just behind the driver. Heaving a sigh of relief, she settled in for the next two-hour odd journey to her office in Whitefield. Leaning back against the dusty headrest, Shweta closed her eyes looking forward to the rest of the journey. Today would be interesting, she thought. Wonder what they will discuss? Will they be romantic and mushy or will they have their occasional tiffs? She couldn’t wait.
To while away the time before the duo got in, she took a thin book from her bag and stared at the cover for a moment. It was called “The billionaire’s ransom bride” and had an illustrated cover portraying a passionate lip lock between the hero and his bride. Blushing a little at the way the hero’s hand seemed to be clutching the petite lady’s bottom, she turned to the page where she had stopped yesterday to continue reading her dose of mills and boon for the day. She had always been a hopeless romantic and couldn’t tire of these 180-page books even after her marriage. You would think that the real thing would prove more exciting but for Shweta these books had always been more interesting than her own love life!
The cab continued on the route weaving its way through thick traffic like a drunken man running through a crowd. It stopped briefly a few kilometers away and Shankar from the IT support got in. Shweta immediately flopped her bag on the empty seat next to her and pretended to be engrossed in the book. After hesitating for a second, the guy reluctantly moved away into the back of the cab – he always looked forward to sitting with the pretty lady in the front seat but somehow she never seemed to want to! After ensuring that the flirt from support had moved to the back, Shweta snapped her book shut and returned it to the bag. It will just be a few more minutes now before their pick up point arrived. Tiny butterflies started dancing in her stomach and she tried to contain her excitement.
The girl got in first. She was dressed in a beautiful sleeveless white and pink chudhidar and loud accessories to match. In her hand, she carried two bags – one a beige handbag which can only be designer and in the other a Dora embellished bag like the lunch bags kids carry to school. Such a contrast, thought Shweta smiling sillily at the girl. The girl seemed not to notice and took the seat in line with Shweta’s on the other side. They always sat at the same place everyday which is why Shweta also always sought out the seat in front. She wondered if they belonged to the same project. The cab turned down a few more roads to the next pick up point and seeing that there was no one waiting at the spot, the driver pressed his feet harder on the accelerator.
The girl squeaked “Anna, wait maadiii…. bartha idare” (Wait, please…he is coming)
The cab driver braked hard to stop and after a nasty glance at the girl started drilling his hands on the steering wheel impatiently. The clock seemed to tick loudly and everybody waited looking out the windows and door. Suddenly, the girl started smiling, and gesturing to some one in the street. Like the hero in a movie climax, Shashank Gowda ran full tilt and jumped into the cab.
Grinning widely, Shanshank took the seat opposite Shweta next to the girl in pink and white.
“Hi Shweta” he said turning sideways to look at Shweta “Thindi aytha?” (Had breakfast?)
“No, no time!” Shweta turned to smile at Shashank. “Yours?”
“Oh yes” replied Shashank moving back to lean in his seat.
With another silly smile, Shweta turned back to the front and closed her eyes, pretending to sleep for the rest of the journey. If her ears twitched a couple of times to hear better, the couple seated a few distance away seemed not to notice.
“Hello madam….” Shashank murmured in a near whisper “How are we today?”
“I thought you were not coming….. You gave me a scare, the driver almost didn’t stop, you know?” said the girl ignoring his question.
“Oh sorry. I will call you tomorrow if I get late, ok? Then you can tell the driver before hand” Shashank replied.
“Hmm” she said moving slightly to adjust her dupatta. Her bare arms brushed against Shashank’s and both of them fidgeted a little conscious of their proximity in the small space that was supposed to be a two-seater.
“So Div, what did you prepare today?” questioned Shashank.
Oh, her name is Divya, thought Shweta opening her eyes. She had forgotten! Nice name…. Shashank and Divya went well…. didn’t they? She wondered if Divya will take Shashank’s last name if they get married. Divya Gowda…. how does that sound? Hmm, not that great. Hearing them continue, she scolded herself mentally for not paying attention and closed her eyes again.
“Tomato rice” Divya replied, “Want to taste?”
“No, its okay. You won’t have any left for lunch if I open that box now” Shashank said shaking his head.
“Oh” Divya said disappointed. “I thought you liked Tomato…. that’s what you said yesterday!”
“Oh yes, I love them. Ok I changed my mind. Give me the box.” grinned Shashank.
The smell of fried onions, cooked and ripe tomatoes mixed with southern masalas assaulted Shweta’s nose within a few moments making her mouth water. Can Divya cook well? Would she have used the easy pressure cooker method to make the Tomato rice or would have painstakingly cooked the gravy and rice separately? Nah, it must be the former. No one would have the time to prepare the elaborate way in the mornings! And looking at the way the girl dressed up with matching earrings, bangles and even bindhi to boot, she must have surely done it the easy way. Lucky girl, no kid and husband to manage….
“How is it? Like it”? Divya questioned.
“This is delicious, you cook so well” murmured Shashank flatteringly relishing the huge mouthful he had stuffed his mouth with.
Guys can be so crude at times talking with mouth full and all that. How unsightly it must look to Divya thought Shweta. Jeez, hope she doesn’t mind crass guys otherwise Shashank will never stand a chance of hooking her!
“Thanks! Glad you like it” Divya said blushing a little, “I will prepare it in another way and get it tomorrow. It will taste really different but still nice… and it is much faster – I would just have to pressure cook the rice, tomato, and masalas together…”
“Wow, you seem like an expert cook. Even I love cooking….. Though my mom never allows me inside the kitchen. She says I make a mess” Shashank said spooning another mouthful of the delicious looking tomato rice.
“Listen…. maybe you know…. we should kind of meet up a weekend and you can teach me how to make this tomato rice….? I would love to learn…. this is so delicious… my mom can never make anything like this” continued Shashank closing the by-now empty box and handing it over to Divya.
Just then the cab driver took a steep right turn without a leg on the brakes. Sometimes, he thinks of himself as a race motorist. The cab driver. Cursing him mentally, Shweta tried to steady herself from going out the window.
Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Divya desperately trying to do the opposite clinging to the windows but momentum and gravity seemed to push her to lean hard against Shashank. Her right hand seemed to come up automatically and clutched Shashank and remained there just a bit longer than necessary long after the cab completed the turn.
Oooooh, God! Are they at the next stage already? thought Shweta trying to remember what that anthropologist Desmond Morris spoke of in his book “The Naked Ape” about the stages leading to copulation.
“Sure…..” Divya replied taking her box back from Shashank and keeping it in her lunch bag.
“Hey, new bag?” Shashank inspected the character printed on the bag “Who is this? New cartoon?”
“You don’t know? That’s Dora?” Divya proudly pronounced, “She is all the rage these days. Kids love her… and the monkey next to her is Boots”
“Wow, you seem to have learned all about them………… along with….”
Nice trick Shashank. But you need to be a little more subtle than that. I can spot your interest a mile away and Divya may find you too fast worried Shweta. She hoped not. Over the last few weeks, she had listened in on their conversations unashamedly and had come to look forward to the cab ride every morning. Her novel faded in comparison to the live love story that was developing in front of her eyes. And the desperate “happily ever after” seeker that she is, she imagined all their back and forths must be because of their interest in each other.
“Along with Kriya” continued Shashank “So how come you are carrying her lunch bag”
Hey, wait a sec. Who is this Kriya? Shweta had never heard that name mentioned before.
“Well, Kriya had to stay back at home today because she has a bad cold. My husband is looking after her…… so I took her bag! After all she takes my stuff all the time” answered Divya.
Shweta eyes popped open and she saw Shashank grinning down at Divya telling her something. They both laughed out loud. Shweta couldn’t believe her eyes or ears. She couldn’t believe her own stupidity. The loud honks from the traffic suddenly increased in volume and seemed to drown out every other noise. A bike screeched to a halt next to the cab that had just stopped for a red light. The pillion rider, a young girl, fell on the bike rider and immediately gave him a sound whack on his shoulder. Shweta could not hear what she said but she seemed to be affectionately chiding the guy in the front.
Dejected and disappointed, Shweta turned away and took out her mills and boon from the bag. She tried to muster up interest in the hot chemistry sizzling in the pages between the tall hero and his petite heroine. Well, at least these guys are predictable, she sighed.
After the regular hellos and smiles at the few others already in the cab, Shweta moved to her usual seat just behind the driver. Heaving a sigh of relief, she settled in for the next two-hour odd journey to her office in Whitefield. Leaning back against the dusty headrest, Shweta closed her eyes looking forward to the rest of the journey. Today would be interesting, she thought. Wonder what they will discuss? Will they be romantic and mushy or will they have their occasional tiffs? She couldn’t wait.
To while away the time before the duo got in, she took a thin book from her bag and stared at the cover for a moment. It was called “The billionaire’s ransom bride” and had an illustrated cover portraying a passionate lip lock between the hero and his bride. Blushing a little at the way the hero’s hand seemed to be clutching the petite lady’s bottom, she turned to the page where she had stopped yesterday to continue reading her dose of mills and boon for the day. She had always been a hopeless romantic and couldn’t tire of these 180-page books even after her marriage. You would think that the real thing would prove more exciting but for Shweta these books had always been more interesting than her own love life!
The cab continued on the route weaving its way through thick traffic like a drunken man running through a crowd. It stopped briefly a few kilometers away and Shankar from the IT support got in. Shweta immediately flopped her bag on the empty seat next to her and pretended to be engrossed in the book. After hesitating for a second, the guy reluctantly moved away into the back of the cab – he always looked forward to sitting with the pretty lady in the front seat but somehow she never seemed to want to! After ensuring that the flirt from support had moved to the back, Shweta snapped her book shut and returned it to the bag. It will just be a few more minutes now before their pick up point arrived. Tiny butterflies started dancing in her stomach and she tried to contain her excitement.
The girl got in first. She was dressed in a beautiful sleeveless white and pink chudhidar and loud accessories to match. In her hand, she carried two bags – one a beige handbag which can only be designer and in the other a Dora embellished bag like the lunch bags kids carry to school. Such a contrast, thought Shweta smiling sillily at the girl. The girl seemed not to notice and took the seat in line with Shweta’s on the other side. They always sat at the same place everyday which is why Shweta also always sought out the seat in front. She wondered if they belonged to the same project. The cab turned down a few more roads to the next pick up point and seeing that there was no one waiting at the spot, the driver pressed his feet harder on the accelerator.
The girl squeaked “Anna, wait maadiii…. bartha idare” (Wait, please…he is coming)
The cab driver braked hard to stop and after a nasty glance at the girl started drilling his hands on the steering wheel impatiently. The clock seemed to tick loudly and everybody waited looking out the windows and door. Suddenly, the girl started smiling, and gesturing to some one in the street. Like the hero in a movie climax, Shashank Gowda ran full tilt and jumped into the cab.
Grinning widely, Shanshank took the seat opposite Shweta next to the girl in pink and white.
“Hi Shweta” he said turning sideways to look at Shweta “Thindi aytha?” (Had breakfast?)
“No, no time!” Shweta turned to smile at Shashank. “Yours?”
“Oh yes” replied Shashank moving back to lean in his seat.
With another silly smile, Shweta turned back to the front and closed her eyes, pretending to sleep for the rest of the journey. If her ears twitched a couple of times to hear better, the couple seated a few distance away seemed not to notice.
“Hello madam….” Shashank murmured in a near whisper “How are we today?”
“I thought you were not coming….. You gave me a scare, the driver almost didn’t stop, you know?” said the girl ignoring his question.
“Oh sorry. I will call you tomorrow if I get late, ok? Then you can tell the driver before hand” Shashank replied.
“Hmm” she said moving slightly to adjust her dupatta. Her bare arms brushed against Shashank’s and both of them fidgeted a little conscious of their proximity in the small space that was supposed to be a two-seater.
“So Div, what did you prepare today?” questioned Shashank.
Oh, her name is Divya, thought Shweta opening her eyes. She had forgotten! Nice name…. Shashank and Divya went well…. didn’t they? She wondered if Divya will take Shashank’s last name if they get married. Divya Gowda…. how does that sound? Hmm, not that great. Hearing them continue, she scolded herself mentally for not paying attention and closed her eyes again.
“Tomato rice” Divya replied, “Want to taste?”
“No, its okay. You won’t have any left for lunch if I open that box now” Shashank said shaking his head.
“Oh” Divya said disappointed. “I thought you liked Tomato…. that’s what you said yesterday!”
“Oh yes, I love them. Ok I changed my mind. Give me the box.” grinned Shashank.
The smell of fried onions, cooked and ripe tomatoes mixed with southern masalas assaulted Shweta’s nose within a few moments making her mouth water. Can Divya cook well? Would she have used the easy pressure cooker method to make the Tomato rice or would have painstakingly cooked the gravy and rice separately? Nah, it must be the former. No one would have the time to prepare the elaborate way in the mornings! And looking at the way the girl dressed up with matching earrings, bangles and even bindhi to boot, she must have surely done it the easy way. Lucky girl, no kid and husband to manage….
“How is it? Like it”? Divya questioned.
“This is delicious, you cook so well” murmured Shashank flatteringly relishing the huge mouthful he had stuffed his mouth with.
Guys can be so crude at times talking with mouth full and all that. How unsightly it must look to Divya thought Shweta. Jeez, hope she doesn’t mind crass guys otherwise Shashank will never stand a chance of hooking her!
“Thanks! Glad you like it” Divya said blushing a little, “I will prepare it in another way and get it tomorrow. It will taste really different but still nice… and it is much faster – I would just have to pressure cook the rice, tomato, and masalas together…”
“Wow, you seem like an expert cook. Even I love cooking….. Though my mom never allows me inside the kitchen. She says I make a mess” Shashank said spooning another mouthful of the delicious looking tomato rice.
“Listen…. maybe you know…. we should kind of meet up a weekend and you can teach me how to make this tomato rice….? I would love to learn…. this is so delicious… my mom can never make anything like this” continued Shashank closing the by-now empty box and handing it over to Divya.
Just then the cab driver took a steep right turn without a leg on the brakes. Sometimes, he thinks of himself as a race motorist. The cab driver. Cursing him mentally, Shweta tried to steady herself from going out the window.
Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Divya desperately trying to do the opposite clinging to the windows but momentum and gravity seemed to push her to lean hard against Shashank. Her right hand seemed to come up automatically and clutched Shashank and remained there just a bit longer than necessary long after the cab completed the turn.
Oooooh, God! Are they at the next stage already? thought Shweta trying to remember what that anthropologist Desmond Morris spoke of in his book “The Naked Ape” about the stages leading to copulation.
“Sure…..” Divya replied taking her box back from Shashank and keeping it in her lunch bag.
“Hey, new bag?” Shashank inspected the character printed on the bag “Who is this? New cartoon?”
“You don’t know? That’s Dora?” Divya proudly pronounced, “She is all the rage these days. Kids love her… and the monkey next to her is Boots”
“Wow, you seem to have learned all about them………… along with….”
Nice trick Shashank. But you need to be a little more subtle than that. I can spot your interest a mile away and Divya may find you too fast worried Shweta. She hoped not. Over the last few weeks, she had listened in on their conversations unashamedly and had come to look forward to the cab ride every morning. Her novel faded in comparison to the live love story that was developing in front of her eyes. And the desperate “happily ever after” seeker that she is, she imagined all their back and forths must be because of their interest in each other.
“Along with Kriya” continued Shashank “So how come you are carrying her lunch bag”
Hey, wait a sec. Who is this Kriya? Shweta had never heard that name mentioned before.
“Well, Kriya had to stay back at home today because she has a bad cold. My husband is looking after her…… so I took her bag! After all she takes my stuff all the time” answered Divya.
Shweta eyes popped open and she saw Shashank grinning down at Divya telling her something. They both laughed out loud. Shweta couldn’t believe her eyes or ears. She couldn’t believe her own stupidity. The loud honks from the traffic suddenly increased in volume and seemed to drown out every other noise. A bike screeched to a halt next to the cab that had just stopped for a red light. The pillion rider, a young girl, fell on the bike rider and immediately gave him a sound whack on his shoulder. Shweta could not hear what she said but she seemed to be affectionately chiding the guy in the front.
Dejected and disappointed, Shweta turned away and took out her mills and boon from the bag. She tried to muster up interest in the hot chemistry sizzling in the pages between the tall hero and his petite heroine. Well, at least these guys are predictable, she sighed.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Can’t wait for happily ever after (The final part)
Priyam returned to the present with a bang and felt herself being shaken. She opened her eyes and found herself staring into Ram’s fierce eyes.
Ram looked at her tenderly and asked, “Priya, where did you go? Were you thinking of our days together 7 years back?”
Pushing herself away from him, Priyam stepped back and with a deliberate intention to hurt said, “No, Ram. Am just thinking of how to get rid of you this time round like you did me the last time”
“Stop it” cried Ram, “How can you expect a 21 year old to leave all the life he had known and dreamed for, and elope with the girl he had met just a year back?”
“I had fallen in love with you with too, Priya, but I had not been prepared for marriage so soon. I had wanted to make something of myself before committing myself. But you had been in too much of a hurry…….” he continued, going on to explain how he had come over to her house the next day only to find she had left home. He had been sad too but he had dreams he wanted to accomplish and he had moved on.
“But not a day went by without me regretting the way our relationship ended, Priya. Please believe me”, he ended sincerely.
With each word he spoke, Priyam felt her heart breaking into a thousand pieces. Oh, my god, what had she done in her foolishness. In her hurry to get her happily ever after, she had spoilt their tender relationship. Priyam could hold her tears no longer and she broke into heavy sobs. Ram gently gathered her to him, tucked her into his strong arms, and started rocking her back and forth.
“Hush, My kitten, Come on now, it’s okay” he whispered “There’s time enough for that later.”
“What do you mean?” she couldn’t stop herself from asking, hoping.
“Well” he grinned, “Just that I don’t plan to let you run this time and you have all the time in the world to fling your accusations. For now, can’t you be content with enjoying our first night together?”
Can she dare hope? Is he saying what she is thinking? But this time around, she will not rush to grab her happily ever after. No, sir, she is going wait…. for it to come to her.
Almost shyly she whispered, barely audible, “Yes.”
Ram looked at her tenderly and asked, “Priya, where did you go? Were you thinking of our days together 7 years back?”
Pushing herself away from him, Priyam stepped back and with a deliberate intention to hurt said, “No, Ram. Am just thinking of how to get rid of you this time round like you did me the last time”
“Stop it” cried Ram, “How can you expect a 21 year old to leave all the life he had known and dreamed for, and elope with the girl he had met just a year back?”
“I had fallen in love with you with too, Priya, but I had not been prepared for marriage so soon. I had wanted to make something of myself before committing myself. But you had been in too much of a hurry…….” he continued, going on to explain how he had come over to her house the next day only to find she had left home. He had been sad too but he had dreams he wanted to accomplish and he had moved on.
“But not a day went by without me regretting the way our relationship ended, Priya. Please believe me”, he ended sincerely.
With each word he spoke, Priyam felt her heart breaking into a thousand pieces. Oh, my god, what had she done in her foolishness. In her hurry to get her happily ever after, she had spoilt their tender relationship. Priyam could hold her tears no longer and she broke into heavy sobs. Ram gently gathered her to him, tucked her into his strong arms, and started rocking her back and forth.
“Hush, My kitten, Come on now, it’s okay” he whispered “There’s time enough for that later.”
“What do you mean?” she couldn’t stop herself from asking, hoping.
“Well” he grinned, “Just that I don’t plan to let you run this time and you have all the time in the world to fling your accusations. For now, can’t you be content with enjoying our first night together?”
Can she dare hope? Is he saying what she is thinking? But this time around, she will not rush to grab her happily ever after. No, sir, she is going wait…. for it to come to her.
Almost shyly she whispered, barely audible, “Yes.”
Can’t wait for happily ever after (part II)
Priyam didn’t want to recall the details of that fateful day. But her mind did not listen and she was instantly thrown back into time. She felt herself being surrounded by the sounds, sights and smell of her life seven years back. She saw herself, an innocent and beautiful Priyam, walking hand in hand with a handsome looking Ram, strolling in the deep gardens of Bangalore in the hour just before Sunrise. They had had the habit of jogging together in the mornings but that day had been different.
They had met at college during their final year, she a communications student wanting to be a journalist and him a technologist studying computers. They had been so different from each other – as different as extreme opposites can get. She had been outgoing while he was ever the brooding one. She had been content with life’s small pleasures while he had wanted the moon. She spoke one language and he another. The list went on.
But their chemistry had been undeniable even back then and she had had no resistance. She had fallen deeply in love with him and had wanted to spend most of her waking hours with him, ever mindful of the end of term when they may be forced to part ways. Like the young and foolish do, she had never thought about their dramatically different backgrounds.
She had thought their love can overcome all the differences, she had dreamed of a happily ever after. On that particular day, they had met up for their jog as usual. She had been feeling particularly nervous. The term was scheduled to end in another week and she had wanted Ram to utter the reassurances she sought.
Save for a few joggers, they had had the park to themselves. They had decided to take it easy that day and agreed on a leisurely stroll around the park. Of course, they had stopped frequently and after looking around to ensure nobody was watching, had kissed each other repeatedly. Their desire had only heighted with each kiss they shared. Priyam had been thrilled when Ram had taken her face in his hands and murmured his first “I love you” to her.
Throwing caution to the winds, she had poured out her feelings to him and had asked him to marry her. Ram had seemed taken back, even shocked initially but he had quickly recovered and had uttered “Sure” in his normal quiet fashion. That had been enough for her. She had made all the arrangements and she had wanted it to be a big surprise for him. Stupidly, she had thought she will offer herself to him and he would find it impossible to say no. Oh, how could she have been so foolish?
When her parents had temporarily gone out of town, she had thought it a heaven sent opportunity to prove her love to him. His initial hesitation at her proclamation of love had been increasingly sneaking up in her thoughts making her uneasy. So she decided to take their relationship to the next level to show him she truly loved him and had invited him over to her house for the night in the pretext of studying for the final exams together.
She had even dressed up in sexy lingerie. When Ram knocked the door, she had almost screamed in joy. Yes, he had come over which must only mean he really loved her back. She had opened the door, ushered him inside, and had dramatically taken off her clothes in an attempt to seduce him. She had expected Ram to take her into his arms or at least stare at her but she had never imagined what he said next.
“Priya, what do you think you are doing?” Ram had cried bending down to take her discarded robe and handing it to her, “Come on, get dressed. Let’s get started with our books.”
Oh, she had been mortified. She had wanted to bury herself ten thousand feet below the Earth and never surface. Their relationship had gone downhill from then. The next few weeks had been tense with exams and the shadow of her actions on that night. She had felt like a swimmer out of depth desperately trying to stay afloat. She had tried to convince herself that it must have been his sense of honor that must have made him do what he did. He must have wanted to wait till they were both independent before taking the big step. She had tried hard, really hard to deny it had been anything other than his love and honor that had come in the way. Oh, she had been foolish.
On the last day of exams, she had sent him a note declaring her undying love adding that she will be waiting for him. She had suggested for them to run away somewhere, perhaps go on a vacation to sort their life. She had packed her bag and had gone to the designated place to wait for him. She had waited…….. till the clock had continued turning to announce the dawning of another day. She had not wanted to believe that he wouldn’t come…. But he had never turned up. And she had never seen him again. In her anger over her own foolishness, she had not returned home and had taken a train to another city and another life. Oh, she had been so foolish…..
They had met at college during their final year, she a communications student wanting to be a journalist and him a technologist studying computers. They had been so different from each other – as different as extreme opposites can get. She had been outgoing while he was ever the brooding one. She had been content with life’s small pleasures while he had wanted the moon. She spoke one language and he another. The list went on.
But their chemistry had been undeniable even back then and she had had no resistance. She had fallen deeply in love with him and had wanted to spend most of her waking hours with him, ever mindful of the end of term when they may be forced to part ways. Like the young and foolish do, she had never thought about their dramatically different backgrounds.
She had thought their love can overcome all the differences, she had dreamed of a happily ever after. On that particular day, they had met up for their jog as usual. She had been feeling particularly nervous. The term was scheduled to end in another week and she had wanted Ram to utter the reassurances she sought.
Save for a few joggers, they had had the park to themselves. They had decided to take it easy that day and agreed on a leisurely stroll around the park. Of course, they had stopped frequently and after looking around to ensure nobody was watching, had kissed each other repeatedly. Their desire had only heighted with each kiss they shared. Priyam had been thrilled when Ram had taken her face in his hands and murmured his first “I love you” to her.
Throwing caution to the winds, she had poured out her feelings to him and had asked him to marry her. Ram had seemed taken back, even shocked initially but he had quickly recovered and had uttered “Sure” in his normal quiet fashion. That had been enough for her. She had made all the arrangements and she had wanted it to be a big surprise for him. Stupidly, she had thought she will offer herself to him and he would find it impossible to say no. Oh, how could she have been so foolish?
When her parents had temporarily gone out of town, she had thought it a heaven sent opportunity to prove her love to him. His initial hesitation at her proclamation of love had been increasingly sneaking up in her thoughts making her uneasy. So she decided to take their relationship to the next level to show him she truly loved him and had invited him over to her house for the night in the pretext of studying for the final exams together.
She had even dressed up in sexy lingerie. When Ram knocked the door, she had almost screamed in joy. Yes, he had come over which must only mean he really loved her back. She had opened the door, ushered him inside, and had dramatically taken off her clothes in an attempt to seduce him. She had expected Ram to take her into his arms or at least stare at her but she had never imagined what he said next.
“Priya, what do you think you are doing?” Ram had cried bending down to take her discarded robe and handing it to her, “Come on, get dressed. Let’s get started with our books.”
Oh, she had been mortified. She had wanted to bury herself ten thousand feet below the Earth and never surface. Their relationship had gone downhill from then. The next few weeks had been tense with exams and the shadow of her actions on that night. She had felt like a swimmer out of depth desperately trying to stay afloat. She had tried to convince herself that it must have been his sense of honor that must have made him do what he did. He must have wanted to wait till they were both independent before taking the big step. She had tried hard, really hard to deny it had been anything other than his love and honor that had come in the way. Oh, she had been foolish.
On the last day of exams, she had sent him a note declaring her undying love adding that she will be waiting for him. She had suggested for them to run away somewhere, perhaps go on a vacation to sort their life. She had packed her bag and had gone to the designated place to wait for him. She had waited…….. till the clock had continued turning to announce the dawning of another day. She had not wanted to believe that he wouldn’t come…. But he had never turned up. And she had never seen him again. In her anger over her own foolishness, she had not returned home and had taken a train to another city and another life. Oh, she had been so foolish…..
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