I would like to know

Will I

Watch the Tigers in National Geographic tear
their preys into bloody pieces while the demented man in a local channel
rants behind bars ruing his bloodless kill
And die of a heart attack with murder in my mind

Will I

Dream of the Tsunami in which I never was
my friends were playing cricket I heard and the waves came on to drag
a small boy having fun on an otherwise pleasant day
And I dream of drowning in the high waters of regret

Will I

Read Yogananda and imagine climbing to a mountain top
sit and watch the world go around, grinning
with glee, their stupidity and foolishness delight me
And I forsake the human kind and kill myself for being one

Will I

Visit my grandma in her hospital bed watching the nurse
clean up her body fluids and remember her making
milk sweets for all us kids on nice summer afternoons
And I curl up inside and cry till all of me drain away

Will I

Grow old and hide the baldness in places, it wouldn’t do
for a woman to be bald, especially on her forehead,
read them stories and think of the ones I never wrote
And I lie down quietly and never wake up

Will I

Look at the ceiling fan one day and decide not
to switch it on, look at the kitchen knife and not use it
to cut tomatoes, look how red they are
And thank the people who made them fans and knives

I think I would like to know.