Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Pleasing others

Do you know any animal, plant, or any other living thing in this world other than man which tries to please another individual of its species? Fight definitely, seduce yes, love maybe, but please? Only man, I think, wants to please another man.

When I say please here, I would obviously like to make it distinct from other actions. Pleasing to me seems like something that is done with an ulterior motive. It is an act shrouded with niceties on top with a hidden interior. The act of pleasing itself is not the goal; the individual who is trying to please another is actually trying to get something else done. Maybe get the other person to like him, love him or give him something. Maybe it’s all about approval and acceptance.

Why do we want to please others? Why can’t we just say it as it is? Live it as it is? Why worry about what others think of you? Why worry about getting others to like you? Why care?

Why worry about fitting in?


PS: I read this somewhere in a blog.... “You don’t fit in because you were born to stand out” .....Loved it.

Edited to add: I came across an interview with Yvonne Foong in a newsletter, and when I went to her blog I found a post titled "Pleasing people is stressful, then why do it?". Yes, pleasing others is awfully stressful and if you are compelled to do it for an important cause (like Yvonne), it will be even more nerve-wrecking. Hope Yvonne gets all the support she requires, financially and otherwise.


Rags said...

"Pleasing" is one of the survival tactics the man has adopted. Also, other than man in which animal can you find "Ego"??

Anonymous said...

well..VJ..I have been accussed of being "too pleasing" sometimes..and I am thiking hello..since when did being nice become a problem/issue...the way i see it..if i like/love someone...there is nothing wrong in showing affection to that person..as long as i am not making that person uncomfortable...pleasing is very relative..i would say...what u might consider too pleasing..or being fake maybe or being too needy (apparently they are all signs of insecurity- thats anotehr blog topic all together...) i think pleasing someone is fine..as long u dont overdo it or u become too sticky/come across as desperate...and i love my friends and family...i swear i will do almost anything for them (again i am not tryin to impress or please...it is just my nature) but if i sense some one is taking adavantage of this feeling...then i dont hide my contempt for that as well..love is a double edged sword...:)