Thursday, April 17, 2003

Having Women Friends

Men are hunters and Women are nurturers. Men go out into the fields and bring you the rice. Women sit at home and cook it for him.

But that is not what this article is going to be about- not the Mars Venus syndrome though I do have the compelling urge to write more on that. No, What am going to concentrate more on here is the quintessential thing that we all need- Friends- in particular female friends. I happened to come across an article on the net that was discussing exactly this and it made me sit up and think. Are girl friends as necessary for one as it was portrayed? Can I do without my girl friends? Why has it become so important for me to pick up the phone and call my girl friend atleast once in a while - even just to say a “Hi!” Why…? So many questions. I finally understood that the answer lies in a combination of biology, psychology, chemistry, anthropology, and of course friendshipology.

Having spent most of my formative years (high school, college…) in a predominantly women environment, I think I am qualified to write on this female bonding phenomenon. I have very strong bonds to three to four females including my best friends and my sister. I know the degree of my dependence on them- I can go without calling any of them for any period of time, I can put all of them completely out of my mind….. and I can just live through my entire life without having another girl friend but it wouldn’t be what exactly I call living!!

A day, two, three… at the most five- I can not stop myself from thinking of them for any reason. Its like I’m addicted to a drug, I go into withdrawal- I stare at the ceiling, I just sleep if I get bored, My entire productivity gets affected….nothing seems lively anymore……..its like I have lost my “boyfriend” or something!!

Delving into the depths of the female bonding mystery, we all know women are the comfort-providers. From our moms to sisters to friends- they have always been there just waiting to pick you up when you fall (It’s a little different with guys –they wait to catch you when you fall- thus not allowing to fall at all ! J ) and they will continue to be there but why? Because they are biologically programmed to seek and give comfort in times of stress. Its in their genes to view everything in this world as their small child at one point of time or another.

A clinical study says that when women are stressed, they bond and when men are stressed they withdraw!! Speaking from actual experience, having female friends that you can count greatly enhances your life. You know there is someone just a phone call away to hear the nonsense that you sprout from time to time. You know this person is not going to be bored (maybe irritated but not bored) if you talk about the things that your “boyfriend” told you even if you happen to be repeating it for the hundredth time! You know nothing that happens to you is going to be unbearable cos your female friends will always be there to share it with you! Women who have close female friends can cope with life better than those who don’t.

I have seen women who are forever frustrated with life, who always complain…… all these women have one thing in common- they don’t have a close female friend they talk to frequently. Of course, there is no way I can relate this bullheadedness to be unhappy to not having close female friends but it does seem to have a connection however remote it is!!

This article is turning out to be entirely pro-female friends so just to burst the bubble here are some anti- facts-

1) Women friends are and can be jealous or envious of everything that you have and they don’t- boyfriends, your new diamond earring, your brother, you name it!!!

2) Women pals, though are the most reliable emotionally, are totally unreliable when it comes to other things. They ditch you at the most unexpected moments- like when you need them to come to an interview with you and they peter out saying they have a function to attend….

3) You cant and are not allowed to look at their husbands, brothers and fathers!!Even though these guys maybe so your type!

4) Women friends have mothers and sometimes sisters. And these people don’t like you being friends!!

5) Women friends come with their own baggage! Maybe heavier than your own.

6) Women friends are possessive- not about you (you too) but with all their belongings. So better return their necklace the very next day after you use it!

7) Women pals can be nagging!! They wont allow you to sleep on a sunny afternoon, they wont allow you to dream about your guy…… they just want to go out!!

8) Women friends want and expect you to go shopping with them!

9) They may be more attractive and look better than you at times and grab all the male attention! Shit!

10) They will be your conscience- even if you don’t want to have one!

With due regards to all my female friends


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